Death To “Just In Case” Stigma

Death To “Just In Case” Stigma

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Death To “Just In Case” Stigma

Child loss is one of the hardest subjects to discuss for anyone whether it be the one who lost a child or not.  Most people don’t know what to say to someone who has lost a child and many times says the wrong thing in trying to make sense of a senseless situation.  Whether the loss is a miscarriage, fetal death, stillborn, infant death, or death of a child; it doesn’t matter the loss of a child is all the same.

I have been thinking lately about the custom of a pregnant woman to not tell anyone until after the first trimester “just in case”.  “Just in case” this idea of not telling anyone of a pregnancy in case something happens and they experience a miscarriage or loss of the child.  Why must we hide the very real issue of child loss?  Many people don’t realize that 10-15% of all pregnancies result in a loss of the child.  10-15%!!  That number astonishes me because you rarely hear about it.  It is never discussed or talked about or brought to light.  Myself included had no idea so many people, even people I knew, had experienced a miscarriage or loss of an infant until I myself lost my daughter.

I went into labor at 23 weeks and gave birth to a tiny 1lb 1 oz daughter, Sophia Ann.  My beautiful baby girl went straight into the NICU and after 9 long hours of fighting she passed due to the extreme prematurity.  Now I myself had waited “just in case” to tell people I was pregnant but had told everyone after 3 months, not knowing 10 weeks later what was to come.  So since everyone knew I was pregnant they all knew of the loss.  I would find myself not bringing it up to make others more comfortable but why should the loss of a child be a thing that is never discussed.  Well I am done; the loss of a child is the worst experience anyone could have but we have to start realizing and acknowledging that it happens more than we know.  I urge everyone to start discussing this very real issue and start bringing awareness of pregnancy/infant/child loss and stop sweeping it under the rug.  Bring an end to the “just in case” mentality because loss is loss no matter when it occurred.

Thank you for reading and I invite you to tell your story below.

– Julia

Julia West

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